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Chickens for geeks

Cara Bereck Levy

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If operating systems/programming languages were chickens

• NT Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

• OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

• Win 95 Chicken:

You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

• Microsoft Chicken ™:

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

• OOP Chicken:

It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

• Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

• C Chicken:

Crosses the road without looking both ways.

• C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

• VB Chicken:

USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

• Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

• Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

• Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

• Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

• Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

• Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

• Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

• Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

• Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

• COBOL Chicken:












• Smalltalk Chicken:

It inherits the crossroad:side method from the Fowl Superclass.

• Forth Chicken:

road cross chicken dup

• Lisp Chicken:

It only crosses parenthetical roads.

• HTML Chicken:

It uses an animated GIF to show a car on the road with the chicken alternating from side to side without getting hurt.

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